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Me Time. What does that REALLY mean?

Dr. Gary Huber

Nothing wrong with taking a little time for yourself but what if we could engage in every minute of our lives and be fully present, fully conscious? Wouldn't that be cool to create ME TIME all day long? Yes it is possible and in fact necessary if you truly wish to celebrate your life and blow the qu

I spent time today delivering a talk to a business group on the value of sleep and its impact on longevity and health. That's work right? That's business and business is supposed to be  stressful. Or is it possible that your life is whatever you interpret it to be? If you decide before arriving to work that your job is stressful and this is going to suck then that's what you have CHOSEN and your results will match your expectation. I went to work to deliver this talk and my forgone conclusion before I even left the house was, “this is going to be awesome, I’m going to meet new people and have an impact on their lives and form new relationships”.  In other words . . . it wasn't WORK, it is my life. My expectation of what I was intentional to create will absolutely color and match my expectation. Different mindset? Different result.

Then I went of the office to see patients and was met with a challenging case of Lyme and I was at least her 4th or 5th doctor attempting to resolve her issues. Stressful? Or, did I enter the room with joyful anticipation of attacking this poor woman’s problems with a new perspective that would shed new light and new solutions to her journey. My expectation and intention will absolutely color my results. Challenging yes . . . stressful no . . . rewarding? Absolutely.

Then I headed outdoors to workout. Uuugghhh!! Exercise in Cincinnati August heat. OR . . . I love pushing my body and exploring its limits and the heat and humidity simply add to the “Free Detox” (sweat) that I get to enjoy. The body was built to move and stretch and explode and I reveled in the joy of the instrument that God has blessed me with. I have the ability to jump and run and pull and lift when other do not. Some people can’t get out of their wheelchair. This is a gift that I take with gratitude. Does my result match my expectation? Hey, I will be the first to say that not every workout is a “pleasure” and that some days I’m just not feeling it but is that a FACT or is that a product of my toxic mind allowing “rehearsed limits” (I’m tired, its been a tough day, I don't feel like it) to screech in my ear and into my mind? 

What’s your point Huber?  I hear people tell me all the time that they put the kids to bed and then they HAVE to stay up late and eat ice cream because they need ME TIME. They NEED 2-3 hours of mindless TV and alcohol or sugar and snacks to calm down from their stressful day. My mind screams “what the hell is ME TIME”. What you are really saying is that the 3 hours you spent doing homework with your kids and putting your kids to bed wasn't ME TIME. Really? Then who’s time was it? Isn’t the joy of any parent the time they get to spend with their kids? Isn’t that what we signed up for? As my daughter leaves for college I can tell you with gigantic certainty that you will feel sorrow that your child is leaving you and I would give away all of my ME TIME for one more night of story time and homework. Every minute of every day that you are thankfully afforded to spend with your child, with your husband or wife, with your chosen profession should be ME TIME. It in fact IS ME TIME if you can be IN THE MOMENT and present.

I am not suggesting that your selfish with your time or that are doing anything wrong but I would love to offer a different view such that the very things that are going to do every day are interpreted as a choice and as a rewarding part of your life. You’re going to go to work, and do homework with the kids and make meals anyway so why not ENJOY the process, be 100% present in the moment and plug into the amazing energy that is right there in front of you?

I went to work and spent ME TIME as I shared my experience with that group of business men and women. And then I reveled in ME TIME as I shared my personal expertise with that Lyme patient. And then as I worked by body into a sweaty mess of tired muscle I joyfully thanked God for the ME TIME. As I sit here now speaking to you through the power of the internet I am thankful for MORE ME TIME as I get to connect with people that are searching, and hopefully I am providing ideas and solutions. And in the next 30 minutes I will drive to Dayton to visit my daughter, my child and my life’s work, and spend ME TIME, blessed to see and feel her success.

I challenge and implore you to look at every minute of your day as a chance to be IN THE PRESENT MOMENT and feel and live the experience of that moment for all it is worth. If you do this then every minute of every day is ME TIME. If you are spending time with your kids and feeling separate from them then stop and ask yourself, what is missing here? The experience is real but am I able to appreciate its significance.? Do I see this activity as a chore or a blessing? Am I truly present or am I just trying to “get through” this to get to some other activity that I interpret as more pleasurable? Please is not happiness. Pleasure is hedonistic and self-serving. Nothing wrong with pleasure but why not find pleasure in the very acts you engage in every day?  Didn't we decide to have kids in order to expand our vision of joy and happiness?

Joy and happiness are NOT THE RESULT of more money, more stuff or more things. Joy and happiness are born and germinated within you by pure intention and delivered from you to those around you. There is no joy in a lottery sweepstakes prize, a new car or a new diamond bracelet. If you truly seek joy and happiness then seek the little things. Scour the small moments of your life. For as the famous quote by Kurt Vonnegut says: “Enjoy the little things in life because one day you`ll look back and realize they were the big things.”

Every action is born out of a thought or belief, that is the result of past experience. If you have fallen into the trap of simply repeating past thoughts and actions then you are in fact living in the past and the question has to be asked “are you ALIVE or simply living in the past?”  Am I simply “going through the motions over and over? Every minute holds the potential to feel alive and connected but too often we throw it away as just another day, “same ol thing”, same old pattern when that pattern is your spouse and your child and your life. WAKE UP!!!  Tick-Tock. There are no “Re-Do’s” in life. This is not a dress rehearsal, this is the real thing. We signed up for this and the bus is rolling. Be engaged, be in the moment, take FROM the day just don't strive to survive the day. You’re ME TIME is now and every minute of TODAY. You deciding and justifying (rationalizing) that staying up late and eating the entire quart of Hagan Das while you drink a half bottle of vodka so you engage in ME TIME is escapism to the 1000th degree. You are not coming to grips with your life and restoring your life you are running away from it.

I GET IT!!!!   I’ve DONE IT!!!!   I am not criticizing, I am sharing my experience. But I see you doing it and I want you to wake up because I wish someone smarter than me would have shaken me by the collar years ago. I had to learn the hard way but now that I am awake and alive and plugged in I feel a responsibility to find others like me and share this message.

The next time you hear yourself saying I need me time ask the simple question . . . what was today all about? Where you in the moment and connected and expressing yourself in a meaningful way all day long?  No.  Why not?

If I have stirred a feeling or created some discomfort then GOOD. I am going to be posting WHAT TO DO if these words have struck a cord. Stay tuned.

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